Who gets the shaft?


How do you manage to meet everyone’s needs when you have a large family and when the ages are so spread out. I know I worried about this a lot when contemplating having another child (before I knew I was having two other children!). So here’s the truth – everyone gets the shaft.  The trick is figuring out who needs the attention and when.  My oldest son graduated from high school in a very busy month, that included my grandmother passing away and me hosting the post-funeral reception and lots of work travel.  But you know what, he was my first kid to graduate from high school and so I threw him a big party and gathered my family (minus the twins who were about 8 months old) and attended graduation and a big family dinner and enjoyed every second.  The twins get tons of attention but this was his night.  So the twins got the shaft.  May of 2012,  they spent more time than I would have liked with their nanny, some paid babysitters, and my inlaws.  Four years later I’m glad to report, that they haven’t need counseling yet.  One hundred percent the teenagers got the shaft for the first three months of the twins lives. I honestly can’t tell you how they got to school, if they had important tests, or how they navigated life without a functioning mother.  They did, it taught them a lot about personal responsibility and they love their little sisters. Most importantly, it didn’t incite a life long competition between them.  Parents needs probably get the shaft the most and that’s a shame.  We are just getting back into a semi-regular date night.  I still find myself putting off exercising for another family members needs.  Sometimes I realize I need to be at a PTA meeting, work later, and spend quality time with the little ones, but I always really want to meet up with my girlfriends, drink beer, and eat tacos.  Every now and then it’s okay to give the rest of the family the shaft and relax.  We should all try it a little more.

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